More Nervous Than the Players?

I am more nervous than the actual players are. I am even more nervous than Sarah was before Game 5 of this year's ALCS. And that's saying something. I bring you... my boys:

Don't fail us now. Patriots Nation requires that Peyton, and his I'm-on-tv-every-five-minute-smugness be silenced. Here's a sample:

More of that would be good.

My Shortest Season Pass List in Years

Blame it on the Red Sox who want to keep playing. Blame it on lots and lots of football on Sunday and Monday nights with live scoring on my fantasy team. Blame it on the new job. Blame it on having a slightly older kid who stays up a bit later. Whatever it is, my TV watching is seriously lagging this year. I have updated the season pass list at the left of this page to reflect the shows I've actually been watching before they get deleted from my TiVo. All in all, I'm relatively underwhelmed by the new offerings.

• Pushing Daisies was way too much like a Broadway musical for my liking. It's no longer on my season pass list.


• Chuck is probably good, but I has been sitting on my TiVo for weeks without any major urge for me to watch it after the first episode.


• Private Practice is passable, but not outstanding -- what Grey's pulled off as quirkiness, Private Practice pushes to the edge of corniness.


• Cane is good enough to keep me interested, but mostly because I absolutely love Jimmy Smits. In my world, he is currently president after all.


• Gossip Girl is good, but it is hardly Gilmore Girls or the O.C.-- and it never will be.

Brothers & Sisters has risen to the very top of my favorites list. It's exceptionally good and has be crying as some point during nearly every episode. At some point, I think I'll write a post about why I love it so much when TV makes me cry. But not tonight. I'm going to hope that the TV program I'm watching tonight doesn't make anyone in the Nation (i.e. Red Sox Nation) cry.

Shark Jumping in Progress?

Friday Night Lights is definitely still one of my top two favorite shows, but I'm a bit worried. There's this term that's used by TV commentators and bloggers: jumping the shark. Wikipedia explains nicely why it's called that. It happens, in my humble opinion, most often when showrunners are pressured by the network to spice things up a bit by changing something major about the show. Sometimes it works. Often it just spells the beginning of the end. The potential for shark jumping in Dillon, Texas should have been predictable given the skin-of-its-teeth renewal at the end of last season. But it might have been nice if the showrunners could have resisted. Instead, they decided, in their infinite wisdom, to have Landry kill someone and pitch his body off a bridge into the river at the end of the season premier. Not exactly in keeping with the normal course of events in Dillon, and a bit too I Know What You Did Last Summer for my taste. Next week they find the body. Here's hoping it all gets resolved quickly and we can get back to the good old fashioned Friday Night Lights I've invested so much time cheering about.

Sports Guy Sez Save Friday Night Lights

Fibby passed this along and it's so darn good that I'm going to reprint it here in its entirety. Please visit ESPN's website and patronize their advertisers so they don't sue me for copyright infringement, etc.

I recognize that at this point, all ten of my friends who read this blog have either 1) watched FNL and are already addicted or 2) decided not to watch it just on principle. I am unlikely to change any more minds on the show directly, but maybe you all have other friends to whom you can spread the FNL gospel.

Editor's note: This column appears in the September 24 issue of ESPN The Magazine.

If last year's memorable TV phrase was "Save the cheerleader, save the world," I'm declaring this year's to be "Save the show." NBC is damned close to burying Friday Night Lights, which would be a shame on a number of levels, but none more serious than this one: It's the greatest sports-related show ever made. Returning for a second season on Oct. 5, it's a fair bet that FNL will be canceled by Christmas. And when it is, it's going to be because of people like you.

If you're reading this, then you should be watching Friday Night Lights.

Now, I know only about a thousand people, not counting the anonymous folks in my Barely Legal chat rooms. Since almost two million people subscribe to this magazine, there's an overwhelming chance we don't know each other. That said, I feel confident about making the following three generalizations:

No. 1: You're reading this magazine because you like sports.

Okay, maybe you're killing time in a doctor's office, or maybe you stumbled across this issue in an airplane seat pouch, sandwiched between a barf bag and a catalog that sells night-vision goggles. But I'm going with the odds: If you're reading ESPN The Mag right now, there's a 96% chance you like sports, a 3% chance you're killing time -- and a 1% chance you're stoned and think you're reading Rolling Stone.

No. 2: If you like to watch TV, you wouldn't knowingly turn your back on a great show.

I know, I know, that sounds like a quote from Joe Theismann. But most rational TV fans will cave once a show generates enough buzz, either because their curiosity is piqued or because it's on cable with an "N" or an "SSC" in the ratings. Hey, I've been there myself: I held out on The Sopranos and The Wire. I don't like being told what to watch; this dates back to when a fellow fourth-grader made me feel dumb because I wasn't watching Doctor Who reruns, and we ended up fighting to a draw at recess. But when the buzz passed a certain tipping point, I gave in and gave both HBO icons a fair chance. Before long, I realized they're the two most important TV shows of all time, narrowly edging out Beavis and Butt-Head. Point is, you can never know for sure until you watch.

(I know that in certain cases you ignore the buzz simply because you don't give a crap about the subject matter. I feel this way about tennis, a sport I once loved, before it became too fast and impersonal for its own good. You could pull a Biff Tannen and guarantee that Roger Federer and Andy Roddick were about to play the greatest match ever, and I wouldn't tune in. But who doesn't want to get hooked on a good TV show? Well, except those who are homeschooled.)

No. 3: If Nos. 1 and 2 are true, there's an overwhelming chance you'd love FNL -- and a decent chance you aren't watching it. And if that's the case, don't you owe it to yourself to rent Season 1, Disc 1, and try the first four episodes? Look, if FNL doesn't make it, we're just going to get more Grey's Anatomy spin-offs, a CSI for every city and 20 Deal or No Deal clones. Hollywood doesn't like to take chances, and it doesn't like to fail; it figures out what works, bleeds it to death, then flips the corpse and bleeds it some more. Execs don't care that a few million faithful treasure a show, singing its praises like religious fanatics. They care only that 15 to 20 million kinda-sorta-maybe like it. And it doesn't matter who those viewers are or how dumb they might be, either, as long as they keep coming back for more.

Despite what I might have said in the past about jumping on team bandwagons, you shouldn't feel guilty about jumping on this one. I watched the pilot when it originally aired, but I didn't love it: too much puke-cam (the camera stopped moving so much in later episodes) and an unspeakable sports inconsistency (Dillon High completes a game-winning Hail Mary that could have happened only on a 140-yard field). Once the abysmal ratings were announced, I assumed the show was doomed and opted not to waste my time with Episode 2. Networks pull the plug so quickly these days, you can be burned by getting hooked on something no one else is watching. Ask my wife, who's still complaining about never having learned the identity of the murderer on FOX's Reunion.

After FNL garnered its critical groundswell, I decided to wait for the late-summer DVD release to dive back in. My buddy Connor, a man who knows how to get things, refused to accept this, mailing me the Japanese import in June. That's right, I have a friend who loves FNL so much, he actually couldn't deal with my being willing to wait two more months to see it. So he called in some connections and possibly violated U.S.-Japan trade agreements so I could catch up. As he predicted, the Sports Gal and I ripped through all 22 episodes in a week, learning the Japanese words for "play," "stop" and "pause" in the process. Quite simply, FNL is the best date show ever, an improbable cross between The O.C. and every sports show you ever wanted Hollywood to make. It's the first show my wife and I have loved equally, but for different reasons. What can be better than that?

On Aug. 28, NBC released the American DVDs with a "satisfaction guaranteed" gimmick. Now if you continue to ignore FNL, it's only because you're trying to hurt me. If you do give it a shot, let me recommend the impeccable acting, the lively football scenes (although they tend to go overboard on exciting finishes), the risky story lines and especially Coach Taylor's family, the most authentic household in recent TV history. Every nuance is nailed, every hug seems genuine, every fight makes sense, every sarcastic barb and flustered reaction ring true. If there are better TV actors than Kyle Chandler (Coach) and Connie Britton (Mrs. Coach), I haven't TiVoed them. Pay particular attention to the astonishing two-parter in which an older assistant sets off a racial powder keg before a big playoff game. If FNL were Michael Jordan, Lyla Garrity's slam-page episode would be the 63-point game in Boston (the coming-out party), and the two-parter would be the 1991 Finals (the moment considerable potential is realized).

Look, I'm the biggest White Shadow fan on the planet ... and even I concede that FNL is the greatest sports show ever. Shadow died prematurely because the story line called for it to graduate too many key characters at once. I can live with that. FNL is going to die prematurely because five times as many Americans would rather watch an acerbic British guy belittle dreadful singers on a reality show. I can't live with that.

So please, please help me and every other FNL fanatic. Watch the show. Spread the gospel. You won't save the world as they did in Heroes, and you probably won't prevail in the end, but as Coach Taylor once told his team, "Every man at some point in his life is going to lose a battle. He's going to fight, and he's going to lose. But what makes him a man is that in the midst of that battle, he does not lose himself."

I pray we're not sticking that quote on his TV tombstone in two months.

Bill Simmons is a columnist for Page 2 and ESPN The Magazine. His book "Now I Can Die In Peace" is available in paperback.

Dunnest

It's official. I passed.

The bad news: now I can be liable for malpractice.

First Look: Gossip Girl

I downloaded the pilot for Gossip Girl from iTunes on this rainy evening. It's an amusing romp through some sort of cross between The O.C. and 90210. They're going to need to spice up the quippyness of its dialogue a bit, but I think that could happen with Josh Schwartz at the helm. If it does, this could be a good solid WB/CW-style viewing option.

Penn Badgley (right) particularly stole the show in the pilot. He was also great on the short-lived Bedford Diaries, so it's nice to see him back. Kristen Bell's voice-overs were also excellent -- I was never a loyal Veronica Mars fan but I have seen enough episodes to appreciate why many people were. Here, the unseen Kristen adds a bit of star-appeal to the show with her commentaries as Gossip Girl herself.

I look forward to watching this one unfold. Hopefully the CW will stick with it long enough to let it find its voice (and audience).

The Back to School Post

For the last 29 years or so, my life has been lived on a school calendar. Every year since I was about two, I've either begun a new school year or a new job (usually at a school) in late August or early September. At some point, I suppose this will change. At some point, I will have a job that doesn't change schedules and begin a markedly new year in August or September. But, as my one-year clerkship has just begun, it will be a couple more years before that happens.

One of the great thing about living life on the school calendar is seeing all your friends again and making a bunch of new ones when school starts back up again in the fall. Sometimes, you can even manage to arrange things so that the people who made you feel uncomfortable last year aren't around any more or aren't too close by in the new school year. And, inevitably, every year you end up missing a few people who have moved on and don't sit next to you in class anymore.

TV is like this too. (You knew this post was going to get back to TV at some point, didn't you?) Every fall, the some old friends return, a bunch of new ones arrive, and some others go their separate ways. Sure, you have a few friends from summer camp (like the boys and girls from Army Wives, Side Order of Life, Saving Grace, and Mad Men this summer), but you miss your school year friends by the time August rolls around.

This year, I'm looking forward to spending some school nights with the folks from Dillon, Texas, the McHotties at Seattle Grace Hospital, and the Walkers from SoCal. Heck, I'll even be glad to see Denny Crane and Alan Shore and Tony Gates and Neela Rasgotra back on my TiVo again. But in general, this is going to be a year for making new friends. With Star's Hollow closed to tourists, Orange County destroyed by an earthquake, and Studio 60 canceled due to ratings, there are several slots available in my back-to-school social calendar.

Part of the fun of a new school year is the unexpected joy in meeting a really amazing new friend, like last year's Panthers. It's too early at this point to guess at who might play that role this year. Gossip Girl, Chuck and Private Practice will get an audition on my TiVo merely because of their impressive pedigrees. (Gossip Girl and Chuck are from O.C.-creator Josh Schwartz and Private Practice is, of course, the long-awaited Kate Walsh-headed Grey's Anatomy spin-off from Shonda Rhimes.) Pushing Daisies will also get an audition, largely because of the overwhelmingly positive reviews it's getting. I will be minding the buzz and adding a few other try-outs into the TiVo To-Do list as the need arises.

And I promise to post more often once the new school (TV) year begins in a couple weeks. There's just only so many times a girl can post about how good Army Wives is before she decides to just go dark until the school year starts again. In the meantime, I will reiterate my spring posts by reminding my reticent readers that the first season of Friday Night Lights may be streamed for free on-line, Netflix'd, or purchased. You really ought to do that before the October 5th premiere. Really. Even if you hate football.

Ah, to be back in Star's Hollow...

In tiny Brooklin, Maine, just up the road from WoodenBoat Harbor (where the magazine and school of the same name live), there is an inn that will make any faithful Legally Blonde reader have a sad little smile on her face. I bring you: The Dragonflye Inn. Lorelai herself would feel right at home. And Luke would have a place to finally launch his boat. I suppose that Friday night dinners could have been held in Northeast Harbor (near where Martha Stewart's summer home is) so that the senior Gilmores had a tony-enough enclave to call their own. It's not Cape Cod or the Hamptons, but it's darn close. (In this parallel Star's Hollow universe, Richard is already retired, of course.) Maybe Rory would have gone to Bowdoin, which, with a little Hollywood movie magic, could be conveniently relocated to be within a 40 minute drive of both her mother and her grandparents. And while Bowdoin isn't really the same as Yale, Rory certainly could have picked up the likes of Logan (and we do likes Logan, don't we?) there quite easily, secret society and all, I'm guessing. What do you think? Should I send my proposal to Amy Sherman-Palladino and see if she's up for a second go-round, relocated to coastal Maine?

Dunner

Remember a while back when I announced I was done? Well, back then, I lied. Tonight, it is no longer a lie. I am finally not only done, but also dunner. I will not know until October whether I passed. At that point, assuming things do not go horribly wrong, I suppose I will announce that I am dunnest.

A blog redesign is in the works and the tv commentary will recommence after these brief messages (or a two-week sail). In the meantime, go watch Army Wives on Lifetime. No really. Go watch it. Remember when I told you that Friday Night Lights was good? Well Army Wives is officially that kind of good. Go TiVo it for god's sake. Oh, and if, like Craftosaurus, you don't have cable and a tivo box, go get one for god's sake. You graduated from law school and now you have a paycheck. Use it to bring happiness to your living room.

I Take It All Back

A few months ago, I reported the demise of Studio 60 as expected and acceptable. But I'd like to take it all back.

Not every episode was great. But all of them were better than most of the tv shows being produced for next year. And the great ones were truly fantastic. Leave it to Aaron Sorkin to write one of the most satisfying and engrossing series finales I've ever seen. It was a happy ending for everyone, but didn't descend into cheesy montage. The acting was superb (which means the writing was too). Even Sarah Paulson's performance as Harry ceased to grate on me in these past few episodes.

I would like the show back. I know it's not coming back. But I would like it back.

Barring that: please give me another series written by Sorkin and starring Timothy Busfield, Matthew Perry, and Bradley Whitford... oh, and maybe Allison Janney too. Maybe Rob Lowe and Mary-Louise Parker could even drop in from time to time. Would that really be too much to ask? (Perhaps I should just occupy my TiVo by recording reruns of the West Wing...)